I liked that you chose to give a different spin on the rakshasi. I really liked that instead of abiding by typical hero versus villain type you chose to give the rakshasi a background story and depth as to why they are what they are. I agree people can be misconstrued based on false accusations and rumors, so I like you take on this with feminism involved. It really goes in hands with the current political cultural that we have now in the wake off the movements such as the #MeToo Movement and #TimesUp movement. Your story is told in a very conversational manner. It feels like I watching this on the TV right now or even that I am at the setting of the story. I liked that you incorporated yourself into the story. It was a great creative choice. I anticipate reading more of your story as you keep writing.
Hi Lindsay! Ok I LOVE your topic. It is such an unique spin. I love the reclaiming of villain's story typically because of the humanizing factor, but this also has a feminist perspective. So I am even more of a fan. I know currently in India there an interesting relationship of progress socially in the cities (Me Too and Times Up has gained traction, among other movements) but honor killings still occur and their rape laws have many issues to say the least. Are you going to work this into the conversation? They are women's issues, not rakishasi issues, but they are also women living in modern India.
I was first attracted to your blog because of the name! Being a feminist myself, I was super interested to see what your website was about! I really like your twist on the Rakshasis. I think it is a super creative idea and something no one has most likely done before. Speaking of creative ideas, I really like the structure of your project. Making it a news network will allow you to retell stories as if they are happening right now. For instance, if you did one on Sita's kidnapping, you could have a page that said Breaking News: Sita Has Been Kidnapped! I think that would be super cute and easy to write. I like how you gave information on the Rakshasis in your first post. You can really tell you did your research prior, and it helped me as a reader remember who these characters were.
Oh my gosh. I am so psyched about this topic. First impressions are great - the cover image is subtle and makes sense, the title of the first story reads well. I think the news report format was very clever! I do wonder what the Rakashasis actually look like - I would love to see a picture in there so we get a clear image of what we're talking about. You've done a great job of constructing an imaginary news network and reporters, but I found the format a little confusing. It may help to format it similarly to a script with the reporters' names in there (i.e. Lindsay: "...") That way you could break it up into smaller paragraphs without getting mixed up about who's saying what! I also think it would be really fun to use one of your story pages to insert an advertisement or series of advertisements from the fictional world you've created - just a thought!
I just want to say that I absolutely love your topic! I really enjoy looking at older stories and myths through the lens of today's political climate, so I very much enjoyed reading your story. I was a little confused when I first started reading though, so I think it would be really helpful if you were to explain a bit more about your news show on the title page to provide a little bit of context before you jump in to the main stories. I'm not quite sure where you're planning on going next with the interview portion of this storybook, but it could be really interesting to interview protestors who have had similar experiences to the rakshasis in the Ramayana. Framing the "heroic battles" described in the Ramayana as (raciallly/species-based?) hate crimes would present the stories in an entirely new light. What you have written so far is really good, and I can't wait to see what you do next!
Hey Lindsay! I love how you have incorporated the idea of feminism and the struggle for equal rights into your storybook! Your writing is very engaging and the colloquial nature of it reads very smoothly. I am excited for the other interviews with the rakshais at the rally, and to hear what they have to say. You might consider including an interview from the point of view of a rakshasa or a human at the rally to provide contrasting perspectives. It might also be fun to explore how you could give a unique title to each interview that sums up the perspective or one of the main points of the interviewee. I believe this would help readers to navigate your sight more easily and provide an exciting lure to read each interview. I am also very impressed that you included a video; I think it would be great to continue to explore how you can incorporate other kinds of media as a part of your project, especially given the nature of the storybook! Overall, excellent job!
Wow, I am so impressed with your unique choice of topic for your website. This has such a fun twist and really had me rethinking all I thought I knew about rakshais! I wonder what gave you the inspiration to create your storybook around this topic? Also, such an amazing video you found on helmet safety!! I think everyone should have to watch that before deciding whether or not they want to wear a helmet because they make such a great point. I was excited to see that the topic of Sita was brought up because that definitely would have been on the list of questions that I asked about. I loved that in the interview, we learn that they are actually quite close to each other. Such a fun topic to learn more about with a fun twist, I hope I will get to read more of your stories in the future!
Hi Lindsay! I really enjoyed reading your story. With that being said, I thought that your writing style was extremely refreshing. I liked how you wrote your story as if you were reporting from a morning news show. It really felt like I was watching it on television. As a feminist myself, I was instantly pulled to your website account. I really liked how you focused on the Rakshasi in your version of the story. I thought that it was a creative idea. I never would’ve thought about it myself! A few suggestions that I have is to possibly add a few more images to your introduction page. However, I really like your layout of the first story. I thought that it was interesting that you added a video clip at the beginning of the page. With that being said, you did a really good job writing your stories and I can’t wait to read more stories from you!
I absolutely love your creativity in writing your story. What a great way to modernize the story. Using TAG, I really liked that you were able to create a whole new way to view not only the "population" of the rakshasas and rakshasis. Not only did you create more understanding of them, you made them more human. I also appreciated the way you used the Ramayana as an example of the way they were oppressed. It is also obvious you did some homeowork- that raksha means to protect. I thought you did a great job creating the environment with Good Morning India, and having them cut to a reporter in the field. Did you not have an interview with a Rashasis due to word count? It would have been interesting to hear one of those protesting say a few words. Your writing did a great job, and I was able to picture host infant of a camera talking about these feminist, and then I could really picture the females protesting with signs. Great job!
Hi Lindsay. I got a real kick out of your Rakshasi story. I thought it was a really interesting modern take, very realistic too. It's interesting to think that history is written by the victors. It sort of reminded me of a thought I always have when I read about the Aztecs and the Apaches, how stories of their violence are sometimes used to justify, or at least lessen the blame for European colonization of the Americas. But I wonder how exaggerated those stories are, or what kind of stories the Aztecs would tell about the conquistadors if they were still around. I also liked that you touched on some of the more radical Rakshasi activists who ended up causing more tension. I think that's an interesting subject that isn't talked about enough. Sometimes activists can end up being counterproductive. Anyways, I really liked your story! Keep up the good work!
I really liked your concept for storytelling. By telling the story through the means of a news network was very refreshing and original. I was also a huge fan of how you turned the original stories upside down, and made the heroes we are used to seeing portrayed as the villains. What if you did a segment on how Ravana was actually misunderstood and the city of Lanka was a haven for demons? I think by adding what their life was like before the battle of Lanka would further humanize the demons and show how the humans treated them (i.e. waging war and constantly murdering them.) I wonder if you could find and stories where humans had to be rescued by Rakshasi and the humans were actually grateful? This could add a whole segment where you could interview an ally and have them tell their story. I really like your concept, and can't wait to read more.
Hi Lindsay, I enjoyed reading your story, On the Street.
I thought it was interesting the topic and theme you chose to go with for your story. The treatment the Rakshasi people are being giving sounds a lot like what is going on in our world today in our culture. With that being said I like how you related your story with events that are going on today in our real world. This allows the reader to better relate and also make a connection to the story. I also enjoyed the setting you chose to base your story around. Goodmorning Morning India sounds like a news station or channel. This setting provides a good way to build your story around as a the news station is just a messager that informs the people. In your story, you are informing humans about the Rakshasi people, so 10/10 on the setting on the story haha. Overall great story!
I saw the title of your Storybook and just had to read it! The stories focusing on women are plentiful this semester, but they are all so different. This is a fascinating idea, humanizing the beings that we were led to hate in the Epics. The news story was surprising, I don't know what I was expecting but it was a very creative way to open up this storybook. The two long paragraphs were a bit difficult to read through, I think that it would be easier if they were broken up a bit... especially the first paragraph. The interview is amazing and I like that you continued to go with the news story theme here. I really like your ad that was thrown in there. I really enjoyed reading your work and look forward to reading more of it.
Hi Lindsay, what a creative idea for your topic! I would have not thought about making stories into a feminist perspective. What made it more interesting is that you turned it into a reporter! You took something modern and made it realistic. You made this more real life and involving humans, so felt like it gave me a better understanding. I like how you started off, “Good Morning India!” and explained the topics you’re tackling on because I like watching morning news in general. You did a great job on focusing Rakshasis in your version and how it relates to us now. The details you provided about how rakshasis faces discrimination or how it had been completely influenced. Overall, your story was great! The amount of information you provided helped me understand the concept you were trying to pull together. It's cool how your portfolio continues onto the next interviews which made it more exciting to read! Good job!
I really liked the use of images on your website. I think it helped out a lot in me feeling more integrated into the story when as I saw read through the various web pages in your website. I also liked how you kept the same general theme in your banner images for all of the web pages on your website. In having a similar theme in the banners of the web pages helped me to know the second the web page pulled up of the theme of feminism that is on every web page of your website. The videos were also very good at helping me as the reader feel more immersed in your writing. I also liked the content within your videos as well. My favorite video was the one in the first video called What Gods wear before they ride. This is because I think it was a very creative way to show the importance of road safety.
Hi Lindsay, Excited to have found your portfolio and the characteristics of being a feminist stories. Although this is an author's notes feedback post I would love to highlight some other part I thought were really great about your website. The First Interview was a very well put together story and I applaud you for including a video. What a great idea and very helpful for the readers to create a better picture of your story in their heads. I also like the multiple photos included rather than my personal one picture each story. I also like the interview concept with the vast majority of the story being in conversation form. In regards to the notes, I liked how you spoke about how you felt while writing and what your personal hopes were for the interviews. One thing you may take into account is the use of adjectives. There are other ways to describe how you felt rather than just fun.
Hi Lindsay, I am back. I still love your topic and I have love how it has changed since I last read it. The addition of a video is so unique! I would have never thought of that! It also really works well with your overall theme. All the visual clues that are added really make your page easy and fun to read, along with add very well with the concept of your story. Your second story and the change in tone keeps everything very interesting. You have found a so many ways to diversify the experience of reading your story. The only thing is try to translate that into your word choice. If you don't do that the less meaningful the rest of the work you put in means.
I am absolutely in love with the images you have used and the overall theme of feminism. I definitely enjoyed reading your interviews and your use of dialogue going back and forth between characters. I also liked how you introduced the rakshasis you were interviewing. One suggestion I would like to offer is maybe providing a little more backstory regarding the importance of the characters and what personal role they play in feminism. I think it would be a wonderful touch to the interview discussions. As far as the author's note, I think overall you did good on explaining your journey while writing your stories. Another suggestion that I think would be super beneficial for readers is to talk more about the rakshasi characters you are interviewing in your story and why you specifically chose them. It was hard to get a general sense to the relevance of the actual characters and their feministic perspectives when you were talking about your personal experience with just writing the interviews. That way your audience can see the bigger picture of why equality for female rakshasis is so important and necessary. Great job and I look forward to reading more of your stories.
What a fun and informative review of the Rakshaski. “Humanizing Rakshaski through the lens of an investigative reported is an entertaining way to read about the topic and your storybook reads very well. The images are useful and humorous in all the right ways. Your formatting and visual composition is appealing. I particularly like your banner images and the text you chose for your titles. My only complaint about the visual composition is the size of your YouTube link on the “First Interview” page. It is small compared to the YouTube link on the “Second Interview” page. I like how the size of the link on the “Second Interview” page reminds me of a newspaper cover story. Because of its size and front and center location on the page. AS far as the dialogue is concerned. I like how you organized the conversation with narrative breaks to add in informative facts.
Hi Lindsay, I really like how you retold you story from a feminist perspective and made the female characters strong. I would have liked to see more of a background regarding the main characters and why they are important for feminism or why they care about feminism. I did notice a few grammatical errors in your interviews. Specifically the use of quotation marks. For example this quotation, "faces of horses and buffaloes"??? "Three eyes"??? Since it is all one quote, you do not need to separate and add dual quotation marks because buffaloes and three eyes. Also, punctuation goes inside of the quotation marks. Other than that, great job!
I want to start by commending you on your total project! I think the idea to structure your stories as interviews is so creative, and the topic you chose leaves a lot of room for you to instill your own insight and values into the works. A lot of people's projects, including my own, are starting to look like each other so to get to work with a unique one is refreshing! This week we are supposed to focus on "paragraphing" for the feedback assignment, so I looked through all of the pages of your website and found a couple of things that might help improve your work even more (if that's possible!). First of all, the interview idea is fantastic, but boxes you in to a few requirements. One of those is to maintain a story that flows like a real conversation, so I think it is wise to avoid large paragraphs for one speaker in succession. Most people getting interviewed don't talk for super long periods at a time, so to keep it more realistic, you may go back and chunk up the big paragraphs with a few more questions from the interviewer. Your author's note can also be two paragraphs; perhaps one for the original story/research, and one in regard to your own work. Great job... your project is awesome!
Hi Lindsay,
ReplyDeleteI liked that you chose to give a different spin on the rakshasi. I really liked that instead of abiding by typical hero versus villain type you chose to give the rakshasi a background story and depth as to why they are what they are. I agree people can be misconstrued based on false accusations and rumors, so I like you take on this with feminism involved. It really goes in hands with the current political cultural that we have now in the wake off the movements such as the #MeToo Movement and #TimesUp movement. Your story is told in a very conversational manner. It feels like I watching this on the TV right now or even that I am at the setting of the story. I liked that you incorporated yourself into the story. It was a great creative choice. I anticipate reading more of your story as you keep writing.
Hi Lindsay!
ReplyDeleteOk I LOVE your topic. It is such an unique spin. I love the reclaiming of villain's story typically because of the humanizing factor, but this also has a feminist perspective. So I am even more of a fan. I know currently in India there an interesting relationship of progress socially in the cities (Me Too and Times Up has gained traction, among other movements) but honor killings still occur and their rape laws have many issues to say the least. Are you going to work this into the conversation? They are women's issues, not rakishasi issues, but they are also women living in modern India.
Hi Lindsay,
ReplyDeleteI was first attracted to your blog because of the name! Being a feminist myself, I was super interested to see what your website was about! I really like your twist on the Rakshasis. I think it is a super creative idea and something no one has most likely done before. Speaking of creative ideas, I really like the structure of your project. Making it a news network will allow you to retell stories as if they are happening right now. For instance, if you did one on Sita's kidnapping, you could have a page that said Breaking News: Sita Has Been Kidnapped! I think that would be super cute and easy to write. I like how you gave information on the Rakshasis in your first post. You can really tell you did your research prior, and it helped me as a reader remember who these characters were.
Oh my gosh. I am so psyched about this topic. First impressions are great - the cover image is subtle and makes sense, the title of the first story reads well. I think the news report format was very clever! I do wonder what the Rakashasis actually look like - I would love to see a picture in there so we get a clear image of what we're talking about. You've done a great job of constructing an imaginary news network and reporters, but I found the format a little confusing. It may help to format it similarly to a script with the reporters' names in there (i.e. Lindsay: "...") That way you could break it up into smaller paragraphs without getting mixed up about who's saying what!
ReplyDeleteI also think it would be really fun to use one of your story pages to insert an advertisement or series of advertisements from the fictional world you've created - just a thought!
Hi Lindsay,
ReplyDeleteI just want to say that I absolutely love your topic! I really enjoy looking at older stories and myths through the lens of today's political climate, so I very much enjoyed reading your story. I was a little confused when I first started reading though, so I think it would be really helpful if you were to explain a bit more about your news show on the title page to provide a little bit of context before you jump in to the main stories. I'm not quite sure where you're planning on going next with the interview portion of this storybook, but it could be really interesting to interview protestors who have had similar experiences to the rakshasis in the Ramayana. Framing the "heroic battles" described in the Ramayana as (raciallly/species-based?) hate crimes would present the stories in an entirely new light. What you have written so far is really good, and I can't wait to see what you do next!
Hey Lindsay! I love how you have incorporated the idea of feminism and the struggle for equal rights into your storybook! Your writing is very engaging and the colloquial nature of it reads very smoothly. I am excited for the other interviews with the rakshais at the rally, and to hear what they have to say. You might consider including an interview from the point of view of a rakshasa or a human at the rally to provide contrasting perspectives. It might also be fun to explore how you could give a unique title to each interview that sums up the perspective or one of the main points of the interviewee. I believe this would help readers to navigate your sight more easily and provide an exciting lure to read each interview. I am also very impressed that you included a video; I think it would be great to continue to explore how you can incorporate other kinds of media as a part of your project, especially given the nature of the storybook! Overall, excellent job!
ReplyDeleteHi Lindsay!
ReplyDeleteWow, I am so impressed with your unique choice of topic for your website. This has such a fun twist and really had me rethinking all I thought I knew about rakshais! I wonder what gave you the inspiration to create your storybook around this topic? Also, such an amazing video you found on helmet safety!! I think everyone should have to watch that before deciding whether or not they want to wear a helmet because they make such a great point. I was excited to see that the topic of Sita was brought up because that definitely would have been on the list of questions that I asked about. I loved that in the interview, we learn that they are actually quite close to each other. Such a fun topic to learn more about with a fun twist, I hope I will get to read more of your stories in the future!
ReplyDeleteHi Lindsay!
I really enjoyed reading your story. With that being said, I thought that your writing style was extremely refreshing. I liked how you wrote your story as if you were reporting from a morning news show. It really felt like I was watching it on television.
As a feminist myself, I was instantly pulled to your website account. I really liked how you focused on the Rakshasi in your version of the story. I thought that it was a creative idea. I never would’ve thought about it myself!
A few suggestions that I have is to possibly add a few more images to your introduction page. However, I really like your layout of the first story. I thought that it was interesting that you added a video clip at the beginning of the page. With that being said, you did a really good job writing your stories and I can’t wait to read more stories from you!
Bravo Lindsay, Bravo!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love your creativity in writing your story. What a great way to modernize the story. Using TAG, I really liked that you were able to create a whole new way to view not only the "population" of the rakshasas and rakshasis. Not only did you create more understanding of them, you made them more human. I also appreciated the way you used the Ramayana as an example of the way they were oppressed. It is also obvious you did some homeowork- that raksha means to protect. I thought you did a great job creating the environment with Good Morning India, and having them cut to a reporter in the field. Did you not have an interview with a Rashasis due to word count? It would have been interesting to hear one of those protesting say a few words. Your writing did a great job, and I was able to picture host infant of a camera talking about these feminist, and then I could really picture the females protesting with signs. Great job!
Hi Lindsay. I got a real kick out of your Rakshasi story. I thought it was a really interesting modern take, very realistic too. It's interesting to think that history is written by the victors. It sort of reminded me of a thought I always have when I read about the Aztecs and the Apaches, how stories of their violence are sometimes used to justify, or at least lessen the blame for European colonization of the Americas. But I wonder how exaggerated those stories are, or what kind of stories the Aztecs would tell about the conquistadors if they were still around. I also liked that you touched on some of the more radical Rakshasi activists who ended up causing more tension. I think that's an interesting subject that isn't talked about enough. Sometimes activists can end up being counterproductive. Anyways, I really liked your story! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Lindsay,
ReplyDeleteI really liked your concept for storytelling. By telling the story through the means of a news network was very refreshing and original. I was also a huge fan of how you turned the original stories upside down, and made the heroes we are used to seeing portrayed as the villains. What if you did a segment on how Ravana was actually misunderstood and the city of Lanka was a haven for demons? I think by adding what their life was like before the battle of Lanka would further humanize the demons and show how the humans treated them (i.e. waging war and constantly murdering them.) I wonder if you could find and stories where humans had to be rescued by Rakshasi and the humans were actually grateful? This could add a whole segment where you could interview an ally and have them tell their story. I really like your concept, and can't wait to read more.
Hi Lindsay, I enjoyed reading your story, On the Street.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was interesting the topic and theme you chose to go with for your story. The treatment the Rakshasi people are being giving sounds a lot like what is going on in our world today in our culture. With that being said I like how you related your story with events that are going on today in our real world. This allows the reader to better relate and also make a connection to the story. I also enjoyed the setting you chose to base your story around. Goodmorning Morning India sounds like a news station or channel. This setting provides a good way to build your story around as a the news station is just a messager that informs the people. In your story, you are informing humans about the Rakshasi people, so 10/10 on the setting on the story haha. Overall great story!
Hi Lindsay,
ReplyDeleteI saw the title of your Storybook and just had to read it! The stories focusing on women are plentiful this semester, but they are all so different. This is a fascinating idea, humanizing the beings that we were led to hate in the Epics. The news story was surprising, I don't know what I was expecting but it was a very creative way to open up this storybook. The two long paragraphs were a bit difficult to read through, I think that it would be easier if they were broken up a bit... especially the first paragraph. The interview is amazing and I like that you continued to go with the news story theme here. I really like your ad that was thrown in there. I really enjoyed reading your work and look forward to reading more of it.
Hi Lindsay, what a creative idea for your topic! I would have not thought about making stories into a feminist perspective. What made it more interesting is that you turned it into a reporter! You took something modern and made it realistic. You made this more real life and involving humans, so felt like it gave me a better understanding. I like how you started off, “Good Morning India!” and explained the topics you’re tackling on because I like watching morning news in general. You did a great job on focusing Rakshasis in your version and how it relates to us now. The details you provided about how rakshasis faces discrimination or how it had been completely influenced. Overall, your story was great! The amount of information you provided helped me understand the concept you were trying to pull together. It's cool how your portfolio continues onto the next interviews which made it more exciting to read! Good job!
ReplyDeleteHi Lindsay,
ReplyDeleteI really liked the use of images on your website. I think it helped out a lot in me feeling more integrated into the story when as I saw read through the various web pages in your website. I also liked how you kept the same general theme in your banner images for all of the web pages on your website. In having a similar theme in the banners of the web pages helped me to know the second the web page pulled up of the theme of feminism that is on every web page of your website. The videos were also very good at helping me as the reader feel more immersed in your writing. I also liked the content within your videos as well. My favorite video was the one in the first video called What Gods wear before they ride. This is because I think it was a very creative way to show the importance of road safety.
ReplyDeleteHi Lindsay,
Excited to have found your portfolio and the characteristics of being a feminist stories. Although this is an author's notes feedback post I would love to highlight some other part I thought were really great about your website. The First Interview was a very well put together story and I applaud you for including a video. What a great idea and very helpful for the readers to create a better picture of your story in their heads. I also like the multiple photos included rather than my personal one picture each story. I also like the interview concept with the vast majority of the story being in conversation form. In regards to the notes, I liked how you spoke about how you felt while writing and what your personal hopes were for the interviews. One thing you may take into account is the use of adjectives. There are other ways to describe how you felt rather than just fun.
Hi Lindsay, I am back. I still love your topic and I have love how it has changed since I last read it. The addition of a video is so unique! I would have never thought of that! It also really works well with your overall theme. All the visual clues that are added really make your page easy and fun to read, along with add very well with the concept of your story. Your second story and the change in tone keeps everything very interesting. You have found a so many ways to diversify the experience of reading your story. The only thing is try to translate that into your word choice. If you don't do that the less meaningful the rest of the work you put in means.
ReplyDeleteHi Lindsay,
ReplyDeleteI am absolutely in love with the images you have used and the overall theme of feminism. I definitely enjoyed reading your interviews and your use of dialogue going back and forth between characters. I also liked how you introduced the rakshasis you were interviewing. One suggestion I would like to offer is maybe providing a little more backstory regarding the importance of the characters and what personal role they play in feminism. I think it would be a wonderful touch to the interview discussions. As far as the author's note, I think overall you did good on explaining your journey while writing your stories. Another suggestion that I think would be super beneficial for readers is to talk more about the rakshasi characters you are interviewing in your story and why you specifically chose them. It was hard to get a general sense to the relevance of the actual characters and their feministic perspectives when you were talking about your personal experience with just writing the interviews. That way your audience can see the bigger picture of why equality for female rakshasis is so important and necessary. Great job and I look forward to reading more of your stories.
Lindsey,
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun and informative review of the Rakshaski. “Humanizing Rakshaski through the lens of an investigative reported is an entertaining way to read about the topic and your storybook reads very well. The images are useful and humorous in all the right ways. Your formatting and visual composition is appealing. I particularly like your banner images and the text you chose for your titles. My only complaint about the visual composition is the size of your YouTube link on the “First Interview” page. It is small compared to the YouTube link on the “Second Interview” page. I like how the size of the link on the “Second Interview” page reminds me of a newspaper cover story. Because of its size and front and center location on the page. AS far as the dialogue is concerned. I like how you organized the conversation with narrative breaks to add in informative facts.
Hi Lindsay,
ReplyDeleteI really like how you retold you story from a feminist perspective and made the female characters strong. I would have liked to see more of a background regarding the main characters and why they are important for feminism or why they care about feminism. I did notice a few grammatical errors in your interviews. Specifically the use of quotation marks. For example this quotation, "faces of horses and buffaloes"??? "Three eyes"???
Since it is all one quote, you do not need to separate and add dual quotation marks because buffaloes and three eyes. Also, punctuation goes inside of the quotation marks. Other than that, great job!
Hello there, Lindsay!
ReplyDeleteI want to start by commending you on your total project! I think the idea to structure your stories as interviews is so creative, and the topic you chose leaves a lot of room for you to instill your own insight and values into the works. A lot of people's projects, including my own, are starting to look like each other so to get to work with a unique one is refreshing! This week we are supposed to focus on "paragraphing" for the feedback assignment, so I looked through all of the pages of your website and found a couple of things that might help improve your work even more (if that's possible!). First of all, the interview idea is fantastic, but boxes you in to a few requirements. One of those is to maintain a story that flows like a real conversation, so I think it is wise to avoid large paragraphs for one speaker in succession. Most people getting interviewed don't talk for super long periods at a time, so to keep it more realistic, you may go back and chunk up the big paragraphs with a few more questions from the interviewer. Your author's note can also be two paragraphs; perhaps one for the original story/research, and one in regard to your own work. Great job... your project is awesome!